3 October 2015
When someone close to you gets diagnosed with cancer you are often uncertain of what to say. In my opinion the worst thing to say is: “My mother/sister/Aunt/Uncle/cousins nephew etc… also had breast cancer… (and now hold your breath for the anticlimax) and she died last year/week/month/the other day…. And in my mind it translates to: Really?? WTF am I supposed to DO with that bit of helpful information? Does this person wanna fight with me? Cos it’s a bit like getting sucker punched in the gut!
A simple : ‘I am sorry’… is enough. Less is definitely more.
I don’t mean to come across as crass, but please be considerate with what you say, because someone who is really ill, understands absolutely that they may ultimately or eventually die… they don’t need reminders. Trust that!
A good friend of mine came to visit when he heard I was ill. He nonchalantly breezed through my house and said: “Kan jy loop? Kan jy sien? Kan jy kak praat? Kan jy lag? Nee dan is jy oraait! (Translation: Can you walk/see/talk shit/laugh? Then you are going to be alright!)” Another firm favourite was: “Moenie nou sat gattie nuh! Is maar net jou borste! (Translation: Don’t die now! Its only your boobs!)” Beautifully honest and blunt – no over analysis or pretense!
Thank You! That was enough for me!
PS: Don’t ever tell someone to Pray or that their Illness is from God… because Dear Human, How the Fuck would You know that? If you feel the urge to utter these words… SWALLOW THEM, excuse yourself, go home and pray for the return of good health for all the sick / alternatively go away and come back with loads of Weed!