Quitting is Forever

20 October 2015

Day 20

So, wearing Pink and running a race in a Tutu is NOT HELPING ANYONE! And Pink Ribbons on appliances or cars or clothes just Piss me Off even more… So please investigate what you are contributing towards before donating to a charity! In my opinion, if you want to really help cancer patients, put some money directly in their hands that they can use to pay for treatments, or to put food on the table, or pay for medical emergencies… then your money will not be wasted. Rant Over Move Along!

Amidst the throes of chemotherapy a ‘friend’ sent me a link via social media about a woman whose husband photographed her breast cancer journey until the day she died. I am sure many of you have seen it. It made her husband famous and his pictures went viral and the rights were sold to MoMA and many other Art Institutions.

When I was done viewing the link all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and DIE! And scream and cry! WTF is inspiring about someone dying? I didn’t feel inspired… I was devastated! It made me feel like there was no hope for me. It made me feel that no matter what I did I would lose this battle and succumb to a slow painful death…

I then responded and told her that I didn’t appreciate the post… because I can’t keep my mouth shut and because some people need to be told when they are being stupid! So I got a Coffee invitation and was dumbfounded thinking – Uhm…Sure… How about like half past fucking NEVER??? Needless to say, we are no longer ‘friends’…

If there is one thing I have learnt it’s this: Human stupidity never fails to inspire WTF were You Even Thinking moments… Why can’t people just be NICE and CLEVER? I GIVE UP!

I did however find inspiration and encouragement in a book. I read Lance Armstrong’s “It’s Not About the Bike” like three times! Now even though his career was all lies, his cancer journey and battle was real. I picked up many useful tips about dealing with side effects and finding your happy place! I learnt about how to diffuse my anger and channel it into creativity. I learnt that an alternative way of thinking about cancer was to use positive affirmations and visualizations that work for you!
My favourite was: “Pain is Temporary, Quitting is Forever!”
And contemplated… which would I rather Live with?

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Author: Sumayya

I have Super Powers! Don't tell everyone ssshhhhhtttt Writer, Producer, Filmmaker, Photographer

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