You going to Die Tomorrow

23 October 2015

Day 23

The night before my scheduled surgical procedures was nerve wrecking. I tried to remain composed but I couldn’t stop worrying about my children. I had arranged that they stay with my parents as I needed my husband to be with me. I needed the emotional support because I was nervous and utterly terrified… (Besides, where else must he be??? Right!)

I put the girls to bed and Eldest Child sat bolt upright and said: ‘You going to Die tomorrow!’ and then she went to bed… and my brave resolve just crumbled… I had a complete breakdown… I was shattered… One of My deepest fears was being realized and for the first time I was going to be incapacitated and in hospital for an undisclosed amount of time…

I never slept that night…
I kept wondering what I was more afraid of… the operation… or death…

I remember getting to the hospital feeling numb and having made peace with whatever the outcome would be… I just surrendered… It was what was ordained and I accepted. I was asked if I needed to pray before the medical team came to introduce themselves to me and speak briefly about the procedure.

I don’t remember much but my final words to my anesthetist was: “Please wake me up – I don’t care what measures need to be taken… Just wake me up because my kids are small!”

I somehow imagined that I would have a Grey’s Anatomy kind of ending… You know, where everything that could possibly go wrong, would go wrong? And that I would end up blind or deaf or brain dead… at this point the irony would not shock me!

So I got wheeled in thinking – THIS IS IT! And then they struggled for half an hour trying to find a vein that would allow them to put me under, prolonging the torture of waiting even more…
The needle was finally secured and…


I was Gone!


Author: Sumayya

I have Super Powers! Don't tell everyone ssshhhhhtttt Writer, Producer, Filmmaker, Photographer

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