I really don’t know what’s worse – being a parent or being a child.
I know I am bad at them both, but I struggle to choose and balance these two aspects of my life.
I am That Mother who wants the very best for their child and expect the same level of obsessive compulsion to be reciprocated in their relationship with me governed by their achievements and accomplishments. I am Tiger Mom on Steroids – ‘Like what Do You Mean You Don’t Understand? Go and Write it out TEN times until you DO!’
I am Sorry – I do NOT want a child that does not work hard, doesn’t achieve, doesn’t respect life and is generally not interested in anything… I refuse to be the Mother of a Loser or an Asshole because that would be a reflection of my values that I have instilled in them! There I said it – some kids are assholes and it’s their parents’ fault they are that way…
I am a very involved parent – I wish that I were not! I sometimes wish to be an absent parent – where I did not have to deal with the everyday struggle of trying to raise kids in a healthy, constructive way! I long for the days when you could get sense smacked into you or the days where you would eat your two day old lunch for supper that night!
I am also that child that is rapaciously involved in her parents’ lives. I live with them, for them and to them! I get a constant criticism of my brutal parenting style and my food always tastes like crap! We fight and swear and disagree on everything but we cannot live without each other.
I have been having the hardest time realizing that it is not easy being the child that watches their parents’ grow older. With age comes ailments that you don’t fully understand and having to realize how unfair life is for whilst you are at your prime they are on their decline – this makes life just a little harder and sadder…
This week I have witnessed my Father literally fall to pieces from excruciating pain caused by Shingles. I felt it with him as my heart shattered under the heaviness of his discomfort. The helplessness makes me feel cowardly – I mean why can’t I fix it? Or take it away? Or soothe it with a Band Aid?
Not So Simple… Life is complicated like that…
I hope one day my children will be so obsessed with me as I am with my parents and that they never give me a moments peace and that they invade every aspect of my being as is their birth given right! And that is Not Negotiable!